358
The demand for development outside our objectiveness of things brings us to follow routes in a straightforwardness that makes us easy to understand. Nevertheless there can be no full appreciation of oneself without the complete portrait of oneself, hence we desire to feel complete without pretensions, a private matter, or a private philosophy; a border of subjective understanding, a philosophy of containment, in contrast to the philosophy of our public projections, our objective understanding of things of life.
359
There is the formal expression, and below that is the natural expression, but the foundation is the private philosophy: through these actions the soul's expression. There is nothing common with our primal expression, there is a part we need to express to ourselves.
360
The innocent sensation of energy, the gentle air of everything, in simplicity, for this we must submit, before we realise. For there has to be a connection to oneself, though not to connect to life, to keenly discover who we are, as it is not enough to consider that I am not others. But in the melting pot of your differences you hopefully meet a purpose, which is not a purpose as being active in a job, but to free ourselves from our capacity, consider this, or consider that your thoughts are held in a prison of bone.
361
On choices.- One may opt to look inward, as one is looking outward, but how is this possible without the impressions and smiles of the external world, how can the inner world compete with this! People have so much interest in how they look, though people are not very individual in how they look, one's eyes may have come from grandpa, and one's smile from one's dad. Though one inherits this dullness in life, which is kind of like a default, when we feel good, bad, or even dull it is in respect to this dullness. So why do we inherit this dullness, what is the ground for this dullness? Well, the truth is that we also inherit our thinking, but it is more obviously from our parents, and from this thinking we make decisions, but it is not an individual choice, and that is the cause of this inherit dullness, as our choices are governed by the choice of our birth, which resulted in the pregnancy of our birth.
362
Problems bear discomfort, but one has to explain it to oneself using exclamation, and examination – one desires to wonder away from the outer wayward nature of sensations. And even less of individual concern but of personal concern, as the personal is of subjective experience and the Individual of different experience. One needs to feel that one can read matters in a way that explains things in a way that makes one worthy of the dramatics in life which puzzle and riddle us with doubt.
363
Bow to one's sufferings if the light be of truth.- There is a tiredness associated with meaning, not just through expression. I would think that this is a tiredness to respect, for then life will respect that tiredness. People are terrified of this tiredness, but it has a sublime beauty, more chic than the catwalks of fashion. Thus to bow to this tiredness life will bow to oneself, and solve it's problems for oneself, thus is the Individual posed in life. There is a pleasure in becoming, but the headache is worn like a crown.
364
The primal directive is to grow up.- Trying, but not deceiving – gentle, but not forwarding one removes the veil from one’s face, and one sees the place where
expression comes from. The truth is that there is no connection, but with oneself, and to meet oneself behind even the sensations of feelings. To know the place, that nobody knows, where the stillness of confidentiality reigns, one seeks beyond the cover of masks.
365
Life tests people in different ways, but people test others in the way that life tests them. Individual value changes, from one to another, that is why we pay for things, but value exists in the essence of things too. Though we are living there is a cost to living, but there is always something in our problems that is unique, though it be as plain as a false smile to a real tear: a simple thing separates oneself from others.
366
As one will make sounds in the day, one will say things, and make steps; one assumes a silence inside. Though there is a world of noise inside the body, the beat of the heart, the sound of blood hastening, the sound of breathing, there is also the sound of one’s fundamental nature of thoughts with sound. It may be an imagined sound of thoughts, but music must come from some place? Thoughts must generate a heard ripple in the consciousness, before some words are aimed and expressed fearfully, or peacefully, and do we express the sounds of our inner thoughts more than the words of our inner voice or the meaning of the words more, or a fuller expression containing all our meaning and noise of our words with no subtle control? Many times we can guess a person’s mood from their silence, meaning our inner tools can be used externally, and hence outer tools can be used internally!
367
So straight and tall with colour and illusion the external world stands as if nothing else can exist, but to believe in this is to believe in labels, and not the consciousness of energy that one needs to return to find the essence. Hence one leaves behind all baggage of curses, falsehoods and raised opinions, one takes only things of the external that point to the direction of the essence, and then the consciousness sits, and says I am this, and I was not really that. The truth is that even the outer sensations of life are amplified or given a voice from micro sensations and mutterings of the self; one submits more to oneself to elevate oneself. Suddenly all union is lost, but one finds empathy with simple connections to life, one returns to the external world, but ready to hook up to the essence of the external world.
368
A path to the essence; such a well feeds our soul. - To think inside the border of our subjective understanding, one has to wonder without prejudice. One says, ‘Hello how is oneself?’ and it is said different to how other people say it, but can one trust oneself – for private philosophy is about how well one talks to oneself. One reaches for oneself because one is one self. However, once that idea of our spirit or us is lost we lose our sense of subtle ambition: our drive without ambition.
369
Heart of certainty.- To seek a door inside, and enter well, ‘what is there?’ – to go deeper, to one’s last shores to one’s glaciers. Am I worthy to live well? A private investigation, one looks inside of oneself, and is lucky to even see a glimpse. Through such steps one walks away from the world of shadows and prepares oneself for steps of faith: as if the mind itself looks into itself, intuition turned towards intuition. One must sway one’s heart away from certainty, for certainty is also the edge of a dagger.
370
There is a necessity for believing in something that pastes one to life, one needs such signposts to help one to keep on one’s way; one should not argue about beliefs of different faiths, for it performs the same function in people of different faiths, and in between faiths, or even in my sense Spiritual Individualism. The passage through the experience of life deserves one to have a rich perception, and an empty head is a poor perception. Beliefs are always changing, like a running stream of thought flowing like water, but belief is a testing of life through personal experience. So how does one decide on their belief system, is my feeling towards this warm or cold? Why is this feeling warm or cold? Does it help to improve my experience of life? It is also true that a belief in something can help one to overcome a certain time stretch, and then one may be lead to a different belief: the truth about beliefs is that one is drawn to things through The Law Of Attraction as one may be drawn to take a picture of something: it is an impulse a drawing to something, and to some a losing of oneself into something, as other things have failed or disappointed oneself – one is drawn to a new support…which in the moment serves a purpose, for having a God serves the same deep function as with having no God, knowing attraction and repelation rely on the same forces as with magnets.
371
Problems make the world smaller; one needs to sow answers before there can be a harvest. One does not sow these seeds with mutterings in a social width of a circle, but it requires an internal weather – deep within us, for deeper problems require depth, general problems of living are dealt with sweat, and interviews on pins and needles.
One cannot become so powerful as to ignore such things, one needs only enough power to be responsible for oneself, as power does not provide answers. Listen to the part of ourselves that speaks less, for we have heard our voice enough times and so have others.
372
Longing.- One desires for something because it is unattainable and thereby creating a personal confusion of the desires that are possible. One then desires with gentleness without urgency, simply to feel good: thus we move around our world, our hearts move around us, let our senses sense what they can, and let longings shorten to long-term plans.
Put on my crown; I have immortal longings in me. Shak.[1913 Webster]
373
The reason for this importance on Individuality is that one at least has moments in their life that do not betray oneself, that shine with one’s own light – the only light that one can trust. It is true that many follow other lights to guide their beliefs or spiritual systems, but it is through one’s own personal light that one observes the light in these other systems. We must create these moments for ourselves, not necessarily crossroads in our lives, but moments in life that are worthy of repetition, or are worthy of being lived through again as a good melody. Hence such a drive also connects to the will to live, as we must serve ourselves before we serve life, then one creates clarity and sharpness of vision that breaks through the muddiness with grandiose introversion. One moves thus, for only the Individual believes in oneself, it is also beliefs that give their desires life, for the desire is the aim, and the belief is the method. There are other beliefs which are connected to other desires, but the desire to live is connected to the belief in oneself, which directly opposes the fear of death.
374
Too safe in life.- Risks can unfasten up more possibilities in life, though one may prefer a throne of sanctuary. It is interesting that when life becomes a bubble of security a natural chaos creaks in nevertheless; one does need the possibility of things going wrong... For what is risk but that determined reach for something: that extra pull. Many having fallen simply from a fear of falling, one is drawn to something, but for each Individual there is a distant star to follow. One may take too many steps backwards; as one is distracted by the sensations of life that promise so much as effort appears to be more valued and also rewarded in comparison to the resolutions of thought and feeling: one belongs more to the social than to oneself.
375
Sometimes the idea of being proper is vague, but all Individuals are given signs, as if a path exists into the future, such are these signs represented by footsteps in the future, though not seen and heard as footsteps in the past, which are more progressions and 'little histories' or memories of oneself. Signs exist everywhere, but the emphasis of certain things in life attract us, perhaps through obsession, thus is our story laid to us by the connection of these dots; though such a reflection requires focus and perspective.
Sometimes the idea of being proper is vague, one's path may dictate one to a humbleness of dependence, for the adult can also express a need and reflective ness towards childlike tendencies, and the child may also express a need and reflective ness towards adult tendencies. One must not fear to lean on things if one wonders at the consciousness, as one may lean on one furniture to look under another furniture, thus the adult finds the child's grip.
376
We are designed to be spiritual.- There is more to life than life, as many find out that age does not tame life, but too much living wears out the body, as living wears out clothes: there is more to life than living. One needs to wonder inside wonder, to reflect within reflection to see what one cannot see to aid what one does see.
377
It is a good exercise to overcome boredom, thus one trains the spirit; boredom is a sign of an unhealthy spirit – it is also said that an ill spirit loses interest in things.
378
In many cases in the company of others one is set to task oneself, though it may seem that others are tasked.
379
Games belong more to children and toys, rather than adults and jobs, but there is a subtle play in the subconscious adult landscapes that are essential to living with purpose, though games have no purpose except this purpose.
380
All people fall in the same way, but those who rise in the same way only rise in their heads, thus starts the perception game. One may think one thing, but things may be another way, but one can work out things with relative certainty. One is more sure about one thing than another thing, so one can be more certain about a thing because one is less convinced about other things. The truth is that certainty can only exist relative to oneself, because the plane of reality that one’s relative certainty rests on is also a relative reality, but why do some have more or less reality in their lives?
The perception game makes distant things appear very close, and vice versa. A melody may appear more tuneful one day, rather than another day. Part of oneself says one is lacking in this way, you have fooled yourself, but one can look at oneself in a naked way, stripped of one’s situation and call it truth. Nevertheless, the situation is the truth, and the truth is of the situation, and the situation in one’s story of life: one connects past and present travels to create this mesh of a blur – I exist, because I feel life.
381
It is painless to reflect on one’s life, because life always points to itself, as we come from life our essence will always take us back to life; this is also an important aspect of tantric sexuality. One can also be drawn towards a experience of naturalism, as we come from life we also need to express the qualities of nature through a personal experience of naturalism, whether it be a natural expression of life by sitting on a wall: the experience of naturalism meaning a pure simplicity with life that points back to itself.
382
On sanity and order.- One can also find sanity in life by observing the order that one does things, or perhaps how books may be placed on a shelf: such a naturalism leads the mind from an untidiness to tidiness, from insanity to sanity.
383
In our assumptions we miss the true processes of life and we sink to a state of deus ex machina, but we must go back to what is obvious, as here is where the stillness, or seriousness that we need awaits for us: many times do we walk past the answers to the questions of the future.
384
The key to improvisation is a preparation of free association. If so, is there a psychological angle towards improvisation?
385
What is obvious, only one thing and that is nothing is obvious, and that the wheels of life are turned by repetition, and non-repetition?
386
A secondary design for life.- In such changing circumstances, one desires also the simple technique of living, for there are many things that can betray one, or take one’s integrity; one also needs a spare strategy, a Plan B. The truth is that one is living in a vision thing because one has listened perhaps more to oneself than others, but either way a second design for life is a wise investment into one’s nature. Or with other words a consideration of the other you if say perhaps one’s life had gone another way, though the crossroads are probably not the obvious one’s but they are probably things of accident that have occurred in life, for this reason a second possibility in life should support a Plan B, which would be a walking stick to one’s present view, as we all have a Plan A. One has to consider what if my life went differently, where it would have happened. One may assume that I am taking about money, or what people mean by ‘having money’ which is wealth, but one has to consider that one’s wealth in Plan A is the same as one’s wealth in Plan if one assumes that wealth is an internal quality:
Inner quality (inner pathos)=External quality (wealth)
If Plan A rests on Plan B, then what does Plan B rest on, but on one’s expression!
387
Living is about engagement with life, and if there is despair, one is separate from life, though one may have a strong social life: gradually a union with life develops. The exercises of such an engagement with life are the challenges of life – all problems have such an entrance, and they need not have an exit.
388
The scent of being.- Thought without thought becomes dry, for thoughts suffocate without breath. One needs the spaces in life, they are an essential emptiness, for what is being alone – thus the essence becomes closer to the essence and hence one creates oneself, refusing to be a reflection of others; receiving temperamental and transparent moods, walking free from competing rooms.
389
The Individual being does not have general desire, but an individual desire, though the corruptions such as lust, anger, greed etc. belong to the world of general desire and they will be better accepted than Individual desire; the vices also carry the support of the local population. Be the people my reflection in the lake one desires but a reflection that gives advantage to living, in our climate it seems that such a matter is forbidden and made to be seen as the forbidden apple of the Garden of Eden: once what was forbidden took life, the forbidden truth gives back life – one finds the lost feeling. The common consciousness dissolved into the sub-collective consciousness – separation within unity, a diffused heart of good within diffused light, a control weakned by surrender.
390
Why does the wind of things blow our being in such a direction? Alternatively, what is the furnace in which I process in this direction? In addition, possibilities can make us linger, so keep romancing the stone, as we are guided instantly by inner limits from our lightest to our heaviest decisions through all weather.
391
Truth and humbleness.- The truth is that truth is like water, one can never hold it in one’s hands. One must seek the essence of truth, then water is ice, but one must keep it there, for if one wants to see it flow, it will also flow out of one’s hands.
392
Karmic doubt.- One merely confronts what one faces, and what is behind of oneself is lost. One realises dreams, and what pressures the soul, like dreams of life, living is pursued we easily become lost, and moments are measured and steps in life – how can we gauge such a distance! Doubt is perhaps as deep as the ocean, but the idea of becoming is not progress, but taking steps in doubt: sinking to depths, freeing one from form of life and one simply desires the revelation of oneself; but be my uncertainty a guide: one walks to the fog.
393
Too asleep in sleeping or too awake in living.- People fear weariness because one walks away from the reality of our knowing or the acknowledged reality of the senses to a vagueness of the world where truth is weak and whispers loud. In the place that is also a weary reality as it is void of context and perspective one simply drinks from life in its diluted form and this why freshness is a virtue: one must rest when rest is needed.
394
We are all slow philosophers.- Many only realise when it is too late, and progression is lost, thus living is also about timing and pace. Though the whole process of living is lost if one is late to realise, as many ordinary people reveal some truth or go into the depths, but the truth may come too late and may not have helped in the process of living - they have betrayed themselves. One may be close to many others, some close to their work, whether it is undemanding or difficult, but is it being close to life?
395
Attitude \At"ti*tude\, n. [It. attitudine, LL. aptitudo, fr. L.
aptus suited, fitted: cf. F. attitude. Cf. {Aptitude}.]
1. (Paint. & Sculp.) The posture, action, or disposition of a
figure or a statue.
[1913 Webster]
Attitude.- One has to express the process of expressing life - for one must also learn to be a closed book . With attitude one expresses generally, put it is a perspective over accurate expression. Many prefer attitude to expression, but one does rely on the other. Statues display more of the attitude of a person, rather than a portrait of a person; statues are more lasting than a painting, which are like attitude and is more connected to first expressions. People of bad first expressions may be non-expressive people of attitude, for one needs to be centred and not just grounded through expression and attitude.
396
The default life.- There is a question of doubt over negative, and positivism as negativity is associated with positivism – one feels nothing in most cases whether one is bored or not; one simply does what one normally does normally. In most cases, others stimulate us, by their presence creating not really a collective unconscious ness, but a default collective, which is not unconscious, but a default vibe of humanity. In many cases a path of struggle towards truth may lead a struggle against untruth, which can bring negativity…thus the default vibe is a cushion.
397
One has to wonder at the depths of the imagination, it is no small event to sink to the measures of oneself. One inevitably finds what simply one needs to be able to continue and recover. Thus by putting onto oneself one builds up the sensitive strength of the imagination – being the hidden place where one's private philosophy exists: but the mind publicly proclaims it self like a window. One does not betray oneself one seeks a sound resolution to life and work, thus such inner work projects itself onto life like a star from the ecstasies.
398
One has to wonder quietly, or a going back to oneself, one has to study to look inside as if one was lifting a box over something. This is more than just a bow to oneself, more than a self-greeting but about determining a new place in oneself, but it is not for others, it is the idea of self-ethics, or the standards of being oneself. As a magician has things hidden to the crowd and this is the private philosophy where one shelters in this inner sanctity.
399
The crystal life.- One designates to oneself for one requires strength, but nothing fixes, for others only reflect oneself in varying degrees; the coming back to oneself is further a returning to the river. Whether one returns to some holy book, or a song it don’t matter for these are referencing to one. Though it is not a simple fear to face oneself, but one is only one's friend and enemy because the inner buttons are confusing, thus one may look at a crystal ball, but the earth itself is a crystal ball, one sees some things in life that connects other things to life, every week something catches one's eyes, but one is looking at others.
400
Everyday something passes us by, we notice changes in how we look or how we perceive, but something is always lost. For we live like a fire, and some coal is consumed, but experiences are not the coal, but the fire, we have only to return to the uncontaminated experience of ourselves.
401
Long term excitement over short term excitement, or not selling oneself for a moments worth of glory.- There must be a necessity to live under one’s own rationale of reason, for clarity is self-reason, self-expression, self-driven, self-minded, self-reasoned, self-service and self-contentment; having no formula is the path, with or without habits. The formula is the stream, nothing is projected that is of value, but without the stream of consciousness, and the Individual is by no means found, but it is the Individual that connects to the consciousness, and thus one is freed from doubt. One finds another being deeper inside, and sheds the outer layer: the positive skin becomes the negative skin.
It is a question of which layer one values, but the Individual finds naturalness within the progress. Whereas fake Individualness simply pretends the outer layer is the inner layer, but life has depth beyond public statistics: the will governs itself well enough through its path, and does not need disguise or shade – one has only to take a few steps back, but still to face forwards.
402
The aesthetics of one’s nature.- One desires everything; except one has forgotten how to impress oneself, when one was new it was enough to be pleasing. To impress oneself is a return to the retreat of oneself, a bliss beyond the roars of ordinary life, a defence from the hurricane of formal stoicism, and systematic argumentation: when the free flow of life is lost – one pleases others by impressing oneself, take courage.
403
One is too obvious to get what one wants.- You may over-extend and feel ever-reaching for something; perhaps to find that things just appear a little away in the distance, and one is constantly getting for things, the whole thing seems to extend beyond one’s reach. Thus, one exerts away from what is normality, though one does not run away from the normal but it is an investigation of diverse normalities. One should try to extend oneself through the necessary means, but ultimately a touching or reaching of other things, represents a desire to touch or reach one’s essence: for one has little courage to meet one’s house of thoughts and reflections.
404
How does one desire within desire, or what is the subjectiveness of subjectiveness? Though fashion is a pretentious form of subjectiveness, as fashion tries more to express subjectivness, it is perhaps a step back or sideways from subjectivity.
How do we pose in life, not physically, but to ask again how do we pose our essence in life? This will reflect on our future, as good private investigations should lead from exaggeration to moderation. Further these investigations will diffuse our limits of order in order to rebuild them by giving ourselves confidence by controlling one’s resources and finding humility in spirit, as many things done with humility are good resources for a careful beginning: then fullness becomes emptiness, acceptance becomes rejection, lightness become heaviness and positivity become negativity!
405
The most boring inner combat.- When life becomes dull, inspiration will always comes from the least expected places – though inspiration can also be bought. The truth is that there is dullness within; the dullness is not forced onto oneself and of life, but off oneself. The question is more of are we worthy enough to be inspired, one’s dullest aspects commit oneself to ground level: for a faint spirit assumes too quickly.
406
On not losing oneself into many things.- We must distil ourselves for one is too diluted; it is a good way to make one simple again, rather than to subtract from one’s life. For one cannot travel, if so many thoughts and feelings have to be carried, thus by going deeper into oneself one becomes more concentrated. So the question is if one makes oneself simpler, or into an essence of a few drops, would not these drops weigh greatly, but one must distil oneself to a drop then, and to continue to distil oneself again - yes, the very weight of the drop: then one has found oneself.
407
As our lives constantly rise and fall with the tides of living, we are tapped on our backs, ‘Are we not seas!’ Thus, one wishes to take life further, for it is the worst feeling to have things gone passed. So much is buried in the vaults of our unconscious, in such depths, thus ponds also believe themselves to be sea’s for their depths sink like a well to the depths, though who would use such a well as drinking water, though it may bring up much water!
408
One must be true to oneself, for the truth will lead – as one walks through life with the head leading, which is called Primary Control, an exercise used in the Alexander Technique, thus truth also leads one’s existence. Still one must sense what one cannot sense, it is wrong to feel right, for one also follows the moral truth. For this point, there is no reason whether to check, or judge oneself in the light of the world if one’s aim is righteous. Many times people are full of doubt, and they need to feel right, and they become judgemental, but they judge themselves through their need to be right. They reason out there rightness to evade the idea that perhaps they are not right but are drawn through anger, and envy, or of the lower aims of justification: one does no swim to the other shore, but better to dive to the depths where one struggles to see the hidden shore.
409
On moving on in life.- One must realise that every life is in a cycle, things are not just in a certain way. The principle about life is development, one becomes full, then one develops to a new state, and in this new state; what was once full is now empty. The contents of a full cup are only half the cup of the new cup, this is how life develops, whether one progresses in marriage or riches is not significant, because there is only one progression. One always hopes with regret, because moments pass, but as all such memorable moments from the past are so well cherished simple because they are known to us, so why are they understood to us, but through the repetition of them, consider memories of a place in childhood that involved a repetition, and consider how they compare to moments that had less of a value of repetition but could be a better memory. Memories that have greater repetition in our past considerably increase the fondness of the memory. So why is this, the truth is that repetition has a cyclic quality, and in essence this is the style of life. Thus there is a joy in repetition as it is a part of the cyclic nature of life which expresses the idea that life is about progressing from a cup, to a bigger cup, but what the cup contains is not of financial or romantic progression, but a progression of the substance of life.
410
Too much entertainment.- We desire the commercial life of designer love and hate, but the purpose of a life is not to entertain, or impress, or to be entertained or impressed. Such is the dizzy height of illusion, one cannot live on such a mountain of illusion, where the air is thin. But here one fills oneself with things that are not of one, but the things of others. And hence one feels numb, for one can be entertained, but entertainment cannot replace life in this thin air. One eventually has to walk down the mountain of illusion, and what waits is simply the fresh feeling and breeze of oneself.
411
If I be judged by others about others.- One has to wonder above and below wonder as casualness can betray oneself. Though one can have no exaggeration with oneself, but with others exaggeration is permitted, as others are of further perspective. As distance needs the perspective of binoculars, that clears a path to things that are far from us, but one does not need exaggeration with oneself because one is oneself, one is already there!
412
Sometimes the shadow grows, and one fights life one to one.- One can only win in a spirited sense - if one is free to lose; though in the industry of life to lose is not just to lose a credit, but it costs one's spirit. And the greatest fight is not in the ring but outside the ring i.e. with life but without the cheer. Thus life expands, but as the nature of life is contraction, all great increases in life, are basically a fight against contraction for expansion, thus one pushes the outer walls.
413
There is no idealistic life, as if one has too many ideas – ideas will lose harmony.- Ideas are amoral, for they are tools. So where do ideas come? Nevertheless, from the light of the soul is their path written to us, in this furnace, in the very fires below the chaos of the unconsciousness. Ideas tend to dissolve in life and to lose form in the formless self, we follow many ideas but as they exist without form, we are not opened to them. Ideas are basically made from decisions, in the essence we find the wind where decisions are fathered, thus does the Individual lead their path.
A quote from Soren:
Alas, in men’s fear-ridden rushing together into a crowd (for why indeed does a man rush into a crowd except because he is afraid!)link
414
Gothic values.- Every day one has to grasp, or catch something fresh – if one cannot one has to twist and turn something, to make it strange: as strangers are seen as new...
415
There has no desire for life, but for the expressions and feelings of life, but in itself life can only be measured by our privacy in life; and here lies the deepest meaning in our life: as casual as it be.
416
Not all advancement can be measured, and it can be difficult to see progression in others; making it more necessary to value subtle progression – one wakes up from the sleeping crowd and simply walks to what one’s dreams point to.
417
Pushing the boundaries of our inner experience.- In the questionable abyss of ourselves where we feel the most alone, and others are not seen. An inner silence prompts us to play hide and seek in a gaming mist to melt the ice of such glaciers and hear we approach the meaning of why we exist: we seek sanctuary in the holy ground of the self.
418
One does not need such waves of aphorism, perhaps one can get by with a little push and pull through life, but it is easier to drift to the lower depths of existence. Such wonderings of aphorism exercise the posture of the consciousness. Here one does a duty towards the self, though the world will turn away. The expression of the self is an understanding of the duty of the self and is the essence that really turns away from the world.
419
There must always be a returning to one’s self, or a feeling of home – a place for a natural sense of warmth. Though in an alien place we find that the natural sense of comfort is actually a feeling of being safe, but it is not the comfort of the seat belt, it is safeness of knowing something well visually, and in the audio. However, the warmth of a place like home is not in the building, though there is an atmosphere of a place, but it does exist in us. One may be repelled, or feel fear by this exercise in solitude while in this alien place for one has to cross paths that one has not crossed, and for this reason, one cannot see the paths, it is about path creation: a skill, which belongs to children, and is lost to adults. Listen to the shouting of children, feel it, though to hear their shouting we are simply irritated by the noise of their shouting, in this shouting one senses the energy of path creation.
420
One knows one’s path not from the fruit of the path, as many have seen a bad road turn into good roads, but by the shadow that is projected on the travels: be it dim or full?
421
Inspired to adjust to the cold.- The system of inner energies has been clarified by Freud into hidden forces, called the unconscious to the subconscious and conscious, but what makes a thing reveal itself, from the unconscious. Does a consciousness contain warm thoughts, and is this warmth not interest; for things that have attraction and occupy our living are more warm and welcome to us. Thus, heavy thoughts would be colder, and further from us, and lost to us as they have little interest. Therefore, this is how inspiration comes, when the conscious energies are too hot, and one is required to think deep. It is also for this reason that obsessions make one feel uneasy for one has gone away from the good weather of everyday custom to the desert, and hence people are quick to satisfy the obsession; being increasingly intolerant of the desert weather.
As philosophers are accustomed with the depths, they catch more from the unconscious, though most do get a shudder from the depths, as if the doors of the consciousness are knocked by the unconsciousness, and many do take note of their feelings, or it may a change in attitude. So if the unconscious is our real self, or closer to our real selves than it is as Freud said, our I.D is contained in the unconscious. As philosophers are accustomed with the depths, they catch more from the unconscious, but hence if they fear not cold thoughts, why should they fear cold emotions wrapped around in their depths hidden in the unconsciousness entangled with thoughts from memories from the past, and hesitation and hope from the future.
422
One does not need such waves – one can simply exist in pure thought which is free from cause and effect, by not thinking about action: one has a spiritual duty.
423
One must wonder at the energies that lie towards the essence, for they represent our primal energies. Beneath the unconscious, we find a place to rest: a place where our reason knows no language and is free from all nationalities. I submit to such energies and my passion finds root.
424
What stops our flow, the noises of people? The path to becoming is a path without flow, one follows with increasing distraction. Nevertheless, the path downwards only seems easier, because one travels faster: we are what our spirit travels into.
425
Some people imagine away their lives when reality runs dry, we happen because we are, and not because many applaud us.
426
Breath of life.- What is it that drives us, what grips us, which management do we pursue, and how do we choose these directions? In times when we need a grip on the oars of our nature, our sense of direction loses itself, for we cannot simply follow our interests; in times of a need of focus we lose a sense to decide based on concerns. We eagerly pursue cares when there is no immediate obligation for a sense of direction in one's life, but because we follow our interests when we feel our interests we know the directions needed in the still moments of living. By being true to our interests we are true to our life, interests give us the gravity to navigate on the inner paths: the private paths, our feeling of destiny within our breath!
427
Style is the structure of knowledge i.e. some things need more thinking and some things do not deserve much thought. As conclusion is the final step of thinking, it is also a general proof that one is actually thinking about something. There is also the matter of thinking management, one needs such a thing, rather than just thinking without any aim, one must manage one’s thoughts to work things out, for knowledge needs a framework.
FERDINAND: Your ladyship is ignorant what it is.
PRINCESS: Were my lord so, his ignorance were wise,
Where now his knowledge must prove ignorance.
I hear your grace hath sworn out house-keeping:
Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,
And sin to break it.
Shakespeare > Comedies > Love's Labour's Lost > Act II, scene I
428
I will stay on in the same quest as how I was bought up, but my problems are the same too.- We are not endless in the possibilities of our differences, for we can only be so different as we belong to the same species. Differences do not reveal themselves in conflict against each other, for the psychology of the mob is being too the same. The battle cry is not for nationality, and love, the battle is with oneself, but it is revealed with cruelty in the hostility and not in the hospitality to others. Cultures that live in hostility talk about too many differences, though it may be a different religion and wealth-wise too, whereas the faith and distribution be the same of the different cultures!
429
One pays a great price for empathy in being oneself, for to find empathy in being oneself means one is not being oneself. Empathy does work best with problems of being oneself, rather than actually being oneself; this explains why people end up in an unsure place in life.
430
A good aphorism must be open to different interpretations - not to mystify, but to bring different perspectives to the whole. For a stick can be many things, and aphorisms are like a stick, it can be placed over something as a means of decoration, or it can serve an elderly, or be a weapon: it depends how it is picked up.
431
One only finds oneself in the fog.- There will always be doubts, the certainty of life is false, but the pleasure of doubt, is the drama of life and death. What are doubts? Nevertheless, the passion that goes beyond facts, finding warmth in the chills of cold analysis – there is fault with knowledge, for knowledge is only what is conferred, but not what is there.
432
The person that succeeds with everything that they want to do, by being zealous in their life will also be the most bored person in the latter part of their life. Then one must learn to live without aim, which is the aim of aims: to escape desire through fulfillment. This is quite different from Zen philosophy which reevaluates fulfillment.
433
We represent our purpose.- We need not attempt to find a will to live; we wake up because we have a will. However, we survive because the biggest ambition is the smallest ambition. Small ambitions are actions, but big ambitions are not a will but only a plan, our will is not felt but it is behind our pulse, it is why we breathe…
434
What is the meaning of purpose, but to find purpose? If we say it, we say what are we to do...
However, aims are not purpose, but they are an expression of purpose. It is the most important things that are represented by purpose. It is the truth in ourselves that gives us the reason to have purpose, but then again the highest purpose, is simply being; the only true haven for the consciousness. And allowing the movement around of ourselves, to be a purpose for that movement: for one gravitates within oneself.
435
Inner galaxy.- Thoughts orbit to one’s gravity, the weight of the gravity is the consciousness, and the mind our galaxy, oh sun – my glow, my soul. Other planets also tag on in certain orbits, which are fate and characterize our destiny. Thus, I am more than my weight: there is this hidden work.
436
Destiny of destiny.- Sometimes big things become small, and small things become big – sometimes we simply fall into the marshes – how can we avoid the quick sand. The truth is that one should not wish for easy or difficult hope. On can find so many things in a mood, but one also needs worth to meet the sun half-way, but balanced equally with humidity, as many times one has to duck. Deeper in oneself one senses invisible strings to invisible mechanisms, I do not philosophize; I look up.
437
Who needs to ignore the whispers that fear not to come from the soul? The highest spirit is also the lowest spirit; the shadow is also the sun spirit, and the movement between creations of low and high. And it is the nature of my breath of aphorism to express with so many doors, as too many angles can lead to misapprehensions. Yet, we do not know why or where words appear in front of us as everything exists as we seem to exist. To add reasons to words could be to add strength; yet, many see depth as vagueness through shallow eyes: yet we all share the same sound, and dance to the same wine.
438
There is no question passed the scheme of becoming, not by definition but by duty. The integrity of the soul is that it contains a question mark, thus the mind holds a desire for the essence, but this holding is a fragile holding of it. It is a long wondering and aphorisms can pass like seconds or days, but what else leads to a feeling of destiny, what wind blows one to the skies.
439
There is the natural understanding of matters, but many times things are understated and overstated, responses come from the peace when one is halve awake, and one demands very little from anything.
440
Self-indulgence.- Night will always wait for us; it is the day that does not wait. To lead one is to be, and to others we are something else that resembles them, we can only lead our selves. We can only sink in our own mud; self-indulgence makes our tolerance weak. Such an indulgence of the self is a sideways movement, which confuses the direction of the oars that will the mind.
For day does not follow day, light does not indulge, all things need direction, it is unproblematic to slip and skid in life. Unless one makes self-indulgence into a work of effort, then one pretends to skid around the corners of life! Through self-indulgence we become diluted, and our stream will run smoother, but a diluted stream of such weak tolerance will lead nowhere in particular.
441
Thus one is led by the subtle forces of Individual motivations, we consider ourselves only for ourselves. And in this we make light steps, the path shines, and then one knows this is the path where one's calling will lead.
FRONT COVER
THE FORBIDDEN TRUTH
